What is hard sex
How Far Are You Willing to Go Between the Sheets?
RELATIONSHIPS ARE ALL ABOUT COMPROMISE, BUT WHAT ABOUT SEX? ONE WOMAN SHARES HOW SHE HAD TO DEFINE HER BOUNDARIES WHEN THE LOVE OF HER LIFE REVEALED A FANTASY SHE’S NOT SURE SHE CAN HANDLE.
“You want me to do what to you?” I asked my boyfriend, Julian [names and personal details have been changed], trying to sound understanding. It was a month into our relationship, and we were lying in bed, sharing our most private sexual fantasies.
“It’s just… I’ve had this fantasy for a while, and I feel like you might be into it, but I don’t want to freak you out.”
“You can’t freak me out. I’m open to pretty much anything!” I tried to convince him.
Julian looked down at his hands, and his eyebrows huddled together like they were having a secret meeting. Apparently, the eyebrows decided it was safe to confide in me. “It’s kinda messed up.”
“Psssh, I’m sure it’s fine.”
He sighed, and then… “I like to wear women’s lingerie.”
All the moisture left my vagina. I was not expecting that at all. I tried to picture my tan, hairy Colombian boyfriend in a lace thong. Nope! No me gusta. “OK,” I said, completely turned off but trying to sound supportive. “Is that it?”
There was more. Fantastic.
“I think it would be hot to dress up in women’s lingerie and then have you order me around….”
“Okaaay,” I said, desperately hoping that was the end of it.
“And then spank me.”
Nooo! I put my hands on my face, Home Alone–style. You know that feeling when the man you love tells you he wants you to bend him over your knee and smack his bare bottom? Well, that’s exactly how I felt. I couldn’t believe that Julian wanted to be treated like a Craigslist prostitute. If anyone was going to be the Craigslist prostitute in this relationship, it should beme. I’m the girl! (P.S.: I am aware of how oppressively gender-normative this sounds.)
After I let his confession sink in for a moment, I started to think about my own reaction. Why was I so freaked out? Why was I so convinced I wouldn’t like it? Maybe it would make me feel powerful, like Oprah on a Jet Ski.