21 Occasions When Ariana Grande’s Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Grumpface Is the Only Option, Ranked
Because this expression is everything
An errant marabou-feathered Angel wing swatted Ariana Grande in the head during last night’s Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show extravaganza. In the process, she made the best face ever. You should already be planning how to incorporate the grimace in your repertoire of sassy/displeased facial expressions; below, a list of occasions when it’s necessary:
21. Whenever you have to use a public restroom.
20. Whenever anyone tells you to smile more, because you have such pretty eyes. But particularly when that person is a stranger on the street.
19. When someone tags you in a Facebook photo that didn’t quite capture you in your best light.
18. When there is vomit.
17. When he “misses” and pokes at your ass with his erection the second time in a row.
16. When someone tells you the results of a quiz they took online as if they actually take it seriously.
15. When the paper copy of your month’s credit card statement weighs more than your new issue of Cosmopolitan, because of course you subscribe and the two things just happened to arrive in your mailbox on the same day.
14. When the aggressively naked lady in the changing room has the locker right next to yours and you just need your headphones but she won’t budge.
13. Whenever someone mansplains.
12. When the delivery guy says, “So, you’re having a party?” when you’ve actually only ordered for yourself.
11. When you’re reading Fifty Shades of Grey and Christian says, “I want you sore, baby.”
10. When that Pitbull track where he refers to (his) semen as “egg whites” comes on the radio.
9. When the guy next to you at Bikram yoga is not wearing deodorant and maybe also winks at you; you’re not sure because it might just be a bead of sweat falling in his eye but still, ugh.
8. When you ask someone if they want to split dessert with you and they say no.
7. When someone sits next to you on the subway and then coughs/eats/begins talking to themself/basically does anything other than remain rigid, close to you but not quite touching, for the duration of your shared journey.
6. When you get a “We miss you!” email from your gym.
5. When you go back to a date’s apartment and it’s six steps on the wrong side of “Oh, I can fix you” messiness.
4. And/or when you go back to a date’s apartment and use the bathroom and then fart, loudly.
3. When your boyfriend comes home with you for the holidays and, one night, out of nowhere, your parents say, “Let’s look at some childhood photos.”
2. When it’s a dick pic.
1. And when a grinning glamazon fashion model hits you in face, but of course.